why

why am I the girl that guys call after there done having fun why am I the one that gets the late night hey baby text messages
the booty call hour phone calls or the send me a pic text
why do guys think that it's alright to play with my emotions
see sawing on my heart stomping on my love
and crushing the dreams that I believed would come true
I felt the pressure as my arteries closed around my damaged heart
Just when my heart is at ease and I take a chance on love again
I become unsettled by what I see you with her. Who she is I dont really know
she seems like the type that will do what I won't do
the one who will go to your house and lay in your bed without any expectations from you down the road
the one that will settle for being that girl
you call when you just want some
and thats fine
just know I am not her
while your out partying I'm thinking about you
and how I just want you around not to hold you down
or lock you up but just your company
why am I the girl that guys don't want to spend time with
why am I not that girl that you text good morning
is it because I dont walk around offering my life to you and all of your friends
does my bluntness shock you at times does my pureness scare you as white as the first flakes as a winter snow I just don't understand why guys think I am meant to be set aside and used as a last resort I will not be the girl guys call after there done having fun

Freedom

Oh how I wish to be free. I feel like nothing I do or say is right in your sight maybe your right probably not. See I had an epiphany today the chains of bondage are slowly releasing from me. so just let me be. What if I like to drown in the boundless sea of love? So what if my day dreams leave me on cloud nine when in reality i haven't even set foot on a bridge. So what if I don't do things your way or the right conventional way. Your thoughts imposed upon me have clenched me to not rely on my own instinct leaving my mind to become more extinct. It no longer matters because I am expected to depend on your wisdom instead of the knowledge of the kingdom. I need to be free to believe what I believe. Don't you see I can't be what you want me to be or maybe I just don't wish to be. Yes i'm feeling rebellious now. Don't you see that your words are hounding not helping now? I need space to think on my own to make mistakes to live learn and grow. The block is clear. I am fighting what could be good advice because you don't give me a chance to ask so please let me be You've planted the seed that for which I am eternally grateful. but now it's time to set me free so you can see what kind of woman I have always been.